This is where I maintain a list of Unparalleled Misalignments (formerly quadruple entendres), pairs of non-synonymous phrases where the words in one phrase are each synonyms of the words in the other. I've mantained this list since 2018; many have contributed, attributions (when known) can be seen by hovering over the Unparalleled Misalignment in question. Add your own via this form.
Hide NSFW valuesButt dial // Booty call
Father figure // Dad bod
Home schooled // House trained
Manual labor // Hand job
Forest fire // Amazon Kindle-Brian Smiley
Casual sex // Lightrail
Blanket statement // Pillow talk // Cover story
Community building // Fraternity house
Nap room // Sleeper cell
Geometric mean // Circle jerk-Aric Floyd
Bottom feeder // Ass eater-Cardi B
Unit vector // One Direction-Eric Neyman
Quick sort // Short order-Joe Reeve
Private island // Secret Key-Phil Parker
Underdog // Subwoofer-Richard Ngo
Crimson Tide // Red Sea-Ricki Heicklen
Economy class // Saving grace-Skye Hersh
Union Jack // Mutual masturbation-SYAS
Fast fashion // Taylor Swift // Quick Fix
Workers' party // Helper function
Drink menu // Spirit guide-Jacob Falkovich
Arm wrestling // Gun Control-Aric Floyd
Full moon // Fertile Crescent-Aric Floyd
Speed limit // Amphetamine shortage-Brian Smiley
Wire transfer // Electric slide-Brian Smiley
Manhole cover // Buttplug-Brian Smiley
Criminal record // Connotation // Prison letters-Chana Messinger
Scared money // Chicken tender-Dan Keys
Service elevator // Utility maximizer-Drake Thomas
Sex symbol // Pound sign-Drake Thomas
Wave function // Beach party-Eliana Lorch
Unionized // Discharged-Richard Ngo
Hard drive // Rocky road-Ricki Heicklen
Speed date // Fast day-Ricki Heicklen
Guard rails // Halter tops-Ricki Heicklen
Late Bell // Dead Ringer-Ricki Heicklen, Brian Smiley
Scene change // Bitcoin-Skye Hersh
Grass fed // Field agent-Jacob Falkovich
Quick jab // Prompt injection-Nathan Young
Pascal's wager // Bar bet-Drake Thomas
Foggy bottom // Smoking ass
TED talk // Edward Said
Nuts and bolts // Comes and goes // Humpty Dumpty // Pump and dump
Emotion // Constant velocity // Pirate-Aric Floyd
Midjourney // Intermission-Brian Smiley
Terminal value // Gate number-Brian Smiley
Cleaning bill // Money laundering // Greenwashing-Brian Smiley, Lily Jordan
Baywatch // Naval gazing // Ocean View-Constance Li, Jacob Falkovich
Blood vessel // Relationship-Drake Thomas
Unparalleled // Misaligned-Owen Cotton-Barratt, Stephen Casper
Party trick // Ball gag-Phil Parker
Blues scale // Depressed growth-Rajashree Agrawal
Bush inauguration // Marijuana legalization-Stephen Casper
Cancel culture // Anti-bacterial-SYAS
House money // Cottage cheese // Home payment-Dan Keys + Stephen Casper
Course selection // Class discrimination
Evergreen // Extrovert
Iron man // Female
Point blank // Vector space-Aric Floyd
Minor correction // Key change-Aric Floyd, Chana Messinger
Framingham // Pig pen-Brian Smiley
Telephone pole // Call log-Brian Smiley
Tollbooths // Bill Gates-Brian Smiley
Jumbo shrimp // Majority // Big Short-Brian Smiley, Linch Zhang
Birth order // Labor force-Dan Keys
Local girl // Near miss-Dan Keys
Dark horse // Nightmare-Eric Neyman
Endzone // Final destination // Last resort-Linch Zhang, Cole Jackes
Gut punch // Loot box-Phil Parker
Chicken coop // Cock cage-Phil Parker
Fish market // Poisson distribution-Stephen Casper
Harmonic mean // Constructive criticism-Stephen Casper
Cold hard truth // Spiked iced tea
Graphing calculator // Plot device-Aric Floyd
Diversity statement // Minority report-Brian Smiley
Power brakes // Battery Park-Brian Smiley
Produce section // Make room-Brian Smiley
Show business // Proof of work-Brian Smiley
Waterbill // Welfare-Brian Smiley
Takeout container // Murder case-Nix Goldowsky-Dill
Platform ecosystem // Shelf life-Owen Cotton-Barratt
Negative correlation // Toxic relationship-Ricki Heicklen
Chopped liver // Surgery survivor-Dan Keys
Comedy Troupe // Silly Bandz
Floor plan // Story plot-Aric Floyd
Centrifuge // Coinbase-Brian Smiley
Deer country // Stagnation-Brian Smiley
Scroll lock // Document seal-Brian Smiley
White onion // Lightbulb-Brian Smiley
Funky // Grand opening-Chana Messinger
Operating system // Surgical procedure-Dan Keys
Barnes and Noble // Landed gentry-Linch Zhang
Turing machine // Homogeneous system-Linch Zhang
Hot take // Fire sale-Maxwell Tabarrok
Cleveland // Break ground-Nathan Young
Charge conservation // Emotional maintenance-Rajashree Agrawal
Musical lineup // Instrumental convergence-Ricki Heicklen
Pregame // Foreplay-Ricki Heicklen
Jewelry thief // Golden retreiver-Ross Rheingans-Yoo
Hamming circle // Pork pi(e)-Stephen Casper, Ricki Heicklen
Can opener // Fire starter-Jake Eaton
Fair trade // Lightswitch-Rajashree Agrawal
Palestine // Light beer-Daniel Filan
Road head // Street smarts
Speed stick // Hurricane-Jacob Falkovich
Jumper cable // Skipping rope-Alex Young
Lit match // Good game-Alex Young
Whole Foods // Complete mess-Aric Floyd
Crossword // Hate speech-Brian Smiley
Picture frame // Movie setting-Brian Smiley
Stick vacuum // Cocksucker-Brian Smiley
Pub etiquette // Barcode-Chana Messinger
Rock musician // Peter Singer-Linch Zhang
Post scarcity // Inbox zero-Nathan Young
Joint venture // Weed trip-Stephen Casper
Rich imagery // Dick pic-Jacob Falkovich
Jew lover // Semitrailer-Jacob Falkovich
Quizzical // Testicle
Orthogonality thesis // Declaration of Independence-Aric Floyd
Natural log // Native tree-Stephen Casper
Goose chase // Duck hunt-Stephen Casper
Mobile home // Movie house-Dan Keys
Case sensitive // Legal tender-Ross Trudeau
Public shaming // Celebrity crush-Aric Floyd
Right angle // Conservative perspective-Aric Floyd
Commit message // Wedding invitaiton-Brian Smiley
Easy choice // Natural selection-Brian Smiley
Gay marriage ban // Fruity cantaloupe-Brian Smiley
Sever ties // Connecticut-Brian Smiley
Small intestine // Semicolon-Brian Smiley
Trustbuster // Oathbreaker-Brian Smiley
White hot // Firecracker-Brian Smiley
CFAR // Longview-Chana Messinger
Off the shelf // Deplatform-Drake Thomas
Rollcall // Turn signal-Drake Thomas
High horse // Drug mule-Linch Zhang
Prompt engineering // Just-in-time manufacturing-Nathan Young
Charity Case // Nice rack-Alice M
Yellow fever // Gold rush-Stephen Casper
Fake shit // Shampoo-Brian Smiley
Titration // Breast reduction-Nathan Young
Police emotions // Cop a feel-Nathan Young
Light switch // Small change // Minor Revision-Peleg Shilo
Discount buyer // Undertaker-Jacob Falkovich
Novice boxer // Start-up incubator-Jacob Falkovich
Batcave // Clubhouse-Aric Floyd
Ball bearing // Party platform-Aric Floyd
Work bench // Labor law-Aric Floyd
Newton's law // Binding of Isaac-Stephen Casper
Culinary school // Meal prep-Dan Keys
Dynamic filter // Movie screen // Motion capture // Moving pick-Dan Keys
Maxwell's demon // Utility monster
Rental car // Truculent-Nathan Young
Key info // Musical note-Rafe Kennedy
Daily bread // Chronic pain
Elevator music // שיר המעלות
Hard cash // Stale bread
Discord // String of Insults-Jacob Falkovich
Game plot // Toy Story-Jacob Falkovich
Message length // Medium size-Jacob Falkovich
Train route // Practice run-Jacob Falkovich
2-step verification // Dance Competition-Aric Floyd
Bear trap // Game stop-Aric Floyd
Biological children // Carbon copies-Aric Floyd
Box office // Case study-Aric Floyd
Comfort zone // Pacific theater // Bedtime stories-Aric Floyd
Digits of pi // Finger food-Aric Floyd
Good impression // Fine print-Aric Floyd
National anthem // Country music-Aric Floyd
Solid state // Stable government-Aric Floyd
Surgeon General // Dr. King-Aric Floyd
Wire tap // Line dance-Aric Floyd
Believe // Buzz off-Brian Smiley
Dollar store // Money vault-Brian Smiley
Graveyard // Savage Garden-Brian Smiley
Gucci Mane // Nice hair-Brian Smiley
Instrumental values // Music royalties-Brian Smiley
Laptop // Thigh High-Brian Smiley
Litter box // Trash bin-Brian Smiley
Meditation Cushion // Thinkpad-Brian Smiley
Parasite // Second location-Brian Smiley
Perfect pitch // Compelling argument-Brian Smiley
Postmates // Ex lovers-Brian Smiley
Securities fraud // Taking stock-Brian Smiley
Static variable // Charge differential-Brian Smiley
Sudoku // Failed rebellion-Brian Smiley
By the way // Off the derech-Chana Messinger
Core strength // Central tendency-Chana Messinger
Feline // Iron Wire-Chana Messinger
After burners // Post anonymously-Dan Keys
Moving company // Emotional intimacy-Dan Keys
Odds and ends // p-values-Dan Keys
Acid rain // Mushroom cloud-Drake Thomas
Platonic realm // Friendzone-Katja Grace
Two pointer // Double meaning // Dual Use-Katja Grace
Birthday Song // New Age music-Lily Jordan
Tech bro // E-mail-Lily Jordan
Old friend // Stalemate-Nathan Young
Coast line // Bank wire-Ricki Heicklen
Slim shady // Line sketch-Sam Rosen
Snare drum // Trap music-Sam Rosen
Weeping willow // Morning wood
High Society // Drug culture-Brian Smiley
Solar eclipse // Sunblock-Vania
Artificial intelligence // Fake news-William Woof
Hamstrung // Hog tied-Brian Smiley, Sam Rosen
Lab coat // Doggy style-Sam Rosen, Skye Hersh
Coke can // Drug arrest-Stephen Casper
Joint distribution // Drug dealing-Phil Parker
Douchebag // Shower caddy-Stephen Casper
Gaelic // Lesbian kiss-Chana Messinger
End consumer // Ass eater
Gravity field // G-spot-Nathan Young
Bioluminescence // Fleshlight-Sam Rosen
Music critic // Vibrator-Sam Rosen
Order of magnitude // Bulk buy-js
Privilege escalation // Social climbing-js
Thunderclap // Loud applause-Peleg Shilo
Linchpin // Hangnail-Phillip Harris
Principal investigator // Debt inspector-Rajashree Agrawal
Pull up bar // Parking ban-Rajashree Agrawal
Dark souls // Black lives-Jacob Falkovich
Metaphysical // Instagram body-Jacob Falkovich
Near term // Present condition-Jacob Falkovich
Hideout // Bare skin-Aric Floyd
Amtrak // Beeline-Brian Smiley
Oral exam // Dental checkup-Stephen Casper
Super bass // Kingfisher-Stephen Casper
Dog whistle // Cat call-Stephen Casper
Hard to follow story // Scatter(ed) plot-Chana Messinger
Army fatigues // Touring tires-Dan Keys
Han Solo // One China
Alpha males // Amen
Too bad // Double trouble-Nathan Young
Hot dog // Firefox-Sam Rosen
Flamewar // Firefight-Sam Rosen
Bank run // Side hustle-Aric Floyd
Wild swerve // Locomotion-Brian Smiley
Minor correction // Juvenile detention-Chana Messinger
Birdwatcher // Eagle scout-ChatGPT
Bad boy // Junk mail-Nathan Young
Broken jaw // Smashmouth-Stephen Casper
Externalize // Out of sight-Drake Thomas
Cross-attention // Ford Focus
Father time // Parsec
First course // Intro class
Fruit flies // Applebees
Slam poetry // Punchlines
Holy roller // Dharma wheel-@gmbrighteyes
Detailed // Unfollowed-Jacob Falkovich
Dominos delivery // Lord's salvation-Jacob Falkovich
Eggnog // Transcranial-Jacob Falkovich
Fat chance // Vast fortune-Jacob Falkovich
Switchboard // Turntable-Jacob Falkovich
Alien species // Space race-Aric Floyd
Box cutter // Battleship-Aric Floyd
Business class // Work study-Aric Floyd
Case notes // Skin tones-Aric Floyd
Constructive criticism // Fine Wine-Aric Floyd
Digital copy // Cloud cover-Aric Floyd
Harmonies // Joint pain // Blunt trauma-Aric Floyd
Postcode // Afterword-Aric Floyd
Radiohead // Wave crest-Aric Floyd
Speed dating // Zoom meeting-Aric Floyd
Square off // Cell death-Aric Floyd
Stump speech // Small talk-Aric Floyd
Texas Hold-em // State capture-Aric Floyd
House fire // Cabin fever // Homesick-Aric Floyd, Drake Thomas
Babylon // Keep talking-Brian Smiley
Billboard // Congressional commitee-Brian Smiley
Breakfast // High speed crash-Brian Smiley
Check mark // Chess notation-Brian Smiley
Chest Muscle // Strongbox-Brian Smiley
Church organ // Body of Christ-Brian Smiley
Coke Zero // Drug free-Brian Smiley
Deadwood // Latent-Brian Smiley
Dollar sign // Price tag-Brian Smiley
Gas stop // Phil Parker-Brian Smiley
Landrover // Contental Drift-Brian Smiley
Latent Heat // Concealed firearm-Brian Smiley
Major depression // Grand Canyon-Brian Smiley
No judgement // Sanskrit-Brian Smiley
Ocean liner // Waterskin-Brian Smiley
Partial derivative // Fractionalized asset-Brian Smiley
Phoenix // Debt Cancellation-Brian Smiley
Profession // Public denouncement-Brian Smiley
Short positions // Low Places-Brian Smiley
Sincere // Hellfire-Brian Smiley
Soylent // I'm giving up-Brian Smiley
Stamp act // Tap dance-Brian Smiley
Stop sign // Countersignal-Brian Smiley
Street food // Nominally-Brian Smiley
Supply and demand // Give and take-Brian Smiley
Travel expenses // Venture capital-Brian Smiley
Turnout // Twistoff-Brian Smiley
Unsong // One-note-Brian Smiley
Windbreaker // Blown fuse-Brian Smiley
Value drift // Asset volatility // Cash flow-Brian Smiley, Phil Parker
Google Doc // WebMD-Chana Messinger
Rear admiral // Backseat driver-Chana Messinger
Sickness pay // Coffee-Chana Messinger
Dark matter // Midnight Mass-Dan Keys
Neighborhood watch // Local time-Dan Keys
Organic chemistry // Carbon dating-Dan Keys
Sporting goods // Virtue signaling-Dan Keys
Ballroom dance // Roundhouse kick-Drake Thomas
𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚑 // Significant digits-Drake Thomas
Karman line // Trucker convoy-Drake Thomas
Underwriting // Subtext-Katja Grace
Course correction // Curriculum learning-Miles Turpin
Fever pitch // Sick note-Nathan Young
Flattering // Dead wrong-Nathan Young
Rented room // Flatulent-Nathan Young
Reptile overlords // Queen Liz-Nathan Young
Spirited // Licorice-Nathan Young
Viewfinder // Seesaw-Nathan Young
Launch pad // Throw pillow-Phil Parker
IP theft // Synthesis-Richard Ngo
Multi-cooler // Maniac-Richard Ngo
Doublespeak // Duolingo-Ricki Heicklen
Word play // Talk show-Ricki Heicklen
Bank vault // Crypt o' currency-Ross Rheingans-Yoo
Heat sink // Hot tub-Ross Rheingans-Yoo
Annul // Alpha Zero // 10 // Unzip-Sam Marks
Wirehead // Transfer of power-Sam Marks
Collateral damage // Insurance fraud-Sam Rosen
Holy see // Divine vision-Sam Rosen
Large coffee // Fat Joe-Sam Rosen
Prolapse // Olympic run-Sam Rosen
Spectrometer // Graveyard-Sam Rosen
Subway // Low road // Underpass-Sam Rosen
Smash Bros // Fuckbuddies
Flower power // Vegemite-Sophia Brown
Cave bear // Concealed carry-Stephen Casper
Primrose path // Happy trail-Stephen Casper
Sheetpan // Flatbread-Stephen Casper
Star Wars // Solar flare-Stephen Casper
Blow job // Drug trade-Jacob Falkovich
Stocking stuffer // Tight Squeeze-Alex Young
Weed wacker // Drug bust-Aric Floyd
*NSYNC // Drano
Deviled egg // Hellspawn
Lost Heart // Love is Blind-Peleg Shilo
Shotgun Wedding // Combined arms-Peleg Shilo
Headliner // Foreskin // Topsheet // Front-runner-Aric Floyd
Matchpoint // Date spot-Peleg Shilo
Pot pie // Weed brownie-Chana Messinger
Roughhousing // Broken home // Violent case // Rugged jacket-Rajashree Agrawal
Watery eye // Washed out perspective-Rajashree Agrawal
Instant noodle // Minute futzing-Rajashree Agrawal
Prima donna // First lady-Watson Ladd
Tight squeeze // Loving relationship-Chana Messinger
Dragon // Pullover-Jacob Falkovich
Neolithic // The One stone // Einstein-Jacob Falkovich
Eternal Father // Absolute motherfucker-Katja Grace
Status game arena // Level playing field-Jacob Falkovich
Pro bono // Competitive edge-Jacob Falkovich
Broadcast // Female company-Nathan Young
Funeral service // Rest mass-Aric Floyd
Drug Mule // Ass Crack-Sam Rosen
Limp bizkit // Unleavened bread-Stephen Casper
Stimulus package // Beat box-Stephen Casper
Drag performance // Smoke show-Sam Rosen, Skye Hersh
Queen mattress // Pillow princess-Stephen Casper
Meatloaf // Cockblock
Lingua Franca // French kissing-Stephen Casper
Executive function // Killer app-Dan Keys
Secular humanism // Catholic anthropology-Daniel Filan
San Diego // Beach body-Daniel Filan
Jet lag // Delayed flight-Daniel Filan
Mile // Personal failure-Daniel Filan
Homo Sapiens // The Gay Science-Daniel Filan
Homosexual agenda // Gay card-Linch Zhang
Handsy medics // Doctors without Borders-Chana Messinger
Road head // End of the drive-Chana Messinger
Photometer // Foot pic
Body language // Corporation
Beat your meat // Beef jerky
Fantastic bum // Assonine-Nathan Young
Little death // Micromort-Nathan Young
Martial art // Painted soldiers-Nathan Young
Mean girl // Mockingbird-Sam Rosen
G unit // m/s^2-Sam Rosen